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OPINION

Yesterday, I didn’t win the Y Dream Home Lottery.

It’s not the end of the world I know, but I really felt like this was MY year.

You know when you get a really good feeling about something, and you just know it’s going to happen…but then it doesn’t happen and you completely lose all confidence in your psychic abilities?

Oh well.

I had it all planned out.

I was going to sell the house (which I believe is priced around $600,000), and immediately put away $200,000 for a rainy day.

I would buy a piece of property and pull on some kind of prefab home and a state-of-the-art chicken coop.

Oh, and I would make sure to add on a HUGE wrap-around porch.

My husband and I even had an argument about my hypothetical win — that’s how real I THOUGHT it was.

It was fine by the way. We will try to only fight about real things from now on.

Am I disappointed, of course. More so because the $200 I spent on tickets could have paid for my coffees to the end of the year, but I know the money went to a good cause.

It was fun to dream for a little while — what it would be like to be basically handed a house. Of course it is a pared down version from my dreams of winning say 30 million dollars in the lottery, where I employ a full time chef, masseuse and hairdresser, and find fun and interesting ways to share the rest with complete strangers.

And I buy my children a lot of experiences, like trips to foreign countries and lots of camping across B.C.

Oh and I buy an island, and a boat to get to the island, because I hate flying.

I wouldn’t say I was angry when I found out I hadn’t won, but I was definitely jealous of the person who did win. And I wanted to know what was so great about her. Why was she any more deserving than me?

We are all guilty of envy from time to time. It’s one of the seven deadly sins after all, and anyone who claims to have never been envious…well I don’t believe it.

When someone else gets the job you wanted. When someone you don’t like has a bit of luck. When you feel like you got dealt a bad hand and someone else is living the high life, sipping champagne on a yacht — it’s not fun. Well I am sure being on the yacht is fun, but not feeling like you are constantly being cheated out of something is not.

It’s really easy to become very cynical and spiral into a negative ball of hate.

But then you just have to take a step back and try to appreciate what is right in front of you — even if it something small and insignificant, because you can propel that hate into something positive.

It’s hard to move forward when you feel as though the world is constantly pushing you back — but it’s never impossible.

— Becky Mann is a 30-something, red haired, mother of two, trying to navigate this life as best she can. She enjoys talking to people and discovering their stories. Still trying to balance her personal and professional life, she juggles work and play. In her spare time Becky can be found visiting with friends, spending time with her family and saving time by reading while walking, She knows there is so much more to come and is looking forward to the continued adventure.

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