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The children of a BC woman who died in 2018 have lost out on half her estate after a court ruled that a man who lived with their mother for almost 30 years wasn't just a friend but their mother's common-law partner.

The children argued the two had only had a platonic friendship and that their mother's will which left the man $10,000 of an almost $600,000 estate should be honoured.

However, in an Aug. 4 BC Supreme Court decision, Justice Simon Coval ruled the will must be changed to provide for her spouse.

The case involves the late Myrtle Eleanor Von Hollen, who was 83 when she died leaving "her friend" Joseph Hermas Bernard Lemire $10,000.

Lemire challenged the will in court arguing he and Von Hollen lived in a marriage-like relationship and the will should be amended to make an "adequate and fair provision" for him.

The story goes back three decades when Lemire moved into Von Hollen's Maple Ridge home in 1988.

The decision says Von Hollen had divorced a decade earlier and got the house after the separation. By the time Lemire moved in, the home was mortgage free.

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Lemire testified that about a year after he moved in he became romantically involved with Von Hollen.

"He said it began one evening at the dinner table together, when Ms. Von Hollen told him he had no idea how many times she had wanted to come to his room," the decision reads.

After a few years of living there, Lemire stopped paying rent and he and Von Hollen split living expenses 50/50 but kept the rest of their finances separate.

"Through all the years, they always kept separate bedrooms," the decision says. "Mr. Lemire explained that they did so because of their different routines and sleep issues. In her working years, Ms. Von Hollen rose early to prepare for the school day and was in bed by 9 p.m. Mr. Lemire was more of a night owl and would stay up until around midnight and get up later."

Throughout the years, Lemire did plenty of maintenance on the house, the two ate meals together every day, and she would cook and he would clean up. They got a dog together and regularly travelled to see each other’s extended families over the years.

They went to weddings, birthday parties, and family reunions together.

Lemire said Von Hollen's family treated him like family.

In 2007, Von Hollen wrote a will leaving $10,000 "to my friend, Bernard Lemire," and divided the rest of her estate to her three children.

As the years passed, Von Hollen's health declined and she had cancer treatment and two serious surgeries that needed near-constant care which Lemire provided. 

Once Von Hollen's daughter Sharon Von Hollen retired in 2014, she and Lemire shared the care work.

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In 2016 Von Hollen made Sharon a joint signatory on her bank account and healthcare representative.

In 2018, Von Hollen went into hospital and Lemire and Sharon took turns throughout the day to be with her.

She never left the hospital and died May 12, 2018.

The family told Lemire the house was now up for sale and gave him three months to move out, which he did. He now lives in an uninsulated trailer on a friend's property.

The house sold for $538,786.

He sued some time after.

"The Von Hollen family members who testified said they saw Mr. Lemire as a close friend of their mother’s and a friend of the family, but never as in a marriage-like relationship with her," the decision says.
"They all expressed their gratitude for the care Mr. Lemire provided to Ms. Von Hollen as her health deteriorated, allowing her to stay at home comfortably and safely."

Sharon testified that all through the years she never saw any indication her mother was romantically involved with Lemire.

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She never saw them share a bedroom or display physical affection.

Her mother always introduced Lemire as "her friend."

A multitude of other family testified and said the same thing.

One family member recalled a conversation about moving into a condo and Von Hollen saying that Lemire would then have to find his own place.

The decision says on their tax returns they both ticked the box that said "single."

"The unusual feature of this case is the marked difference between Mr. Lemire’s evidence of how the parties lived together in private versus Ms. Von Hollen’s family’s evidence of how they presented their relationship to others," Justice Coval said in the decision. "Including how Ms. Von Hollen presented it to her children and sister with whom she was close."

The Justice said the two lived their lives in a marriage-like relationship.

"For almost 30 years, they shared their lives together in the same house. They shared their meals and did their weekly shopping. They combined their hobbies. They were sexually intimate for twenty years until Ms. Von Hollen’s health no longer allowed it," the Justice said. "They shared the cost of basic living expenses. They travelled together regularly for recreation and to visit family. They planned and carried out the upkeep and improvements of the house. These objective facts indicate they saw their relationship as one of indeterminate, lengthy duration."

The Justice said for years Von Hollen was in poor health and Lemire cared for her.

"He ran the house, took care of her every night, and took her into town for outings. He helped her travel safely, going so far as purchasing a new truck so she would have a safe oxygen supply while travelling to her sister’s 80th birthday. In the hospital, he came twice a day and held her hand when they were alone and she was anxious," the justice said.

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The justice ruled the relationship went "far beyond" a close friendship.

"Ms. Von Hollen and Mr. Lemire exemplified the attachment, commitment, and intimacy associated with a married couple," Justice Coval said.

The children's lawyer argued it would be "unprecedented" to find the two had a marriage-like relationship when all the family, who were close and knew them well, never saw it.

However, the Justice said while that made sense it didn't change the way the two lived their lives in private for almost 30 years together.

The Justice ruled the will should be changed granting Lemire 50% of the estate, $269,393.

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