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Horoscopes

  • Aries Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Aries Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    There's a wonderful astrological safety net in place -- the kind that just about guarantees you a happy landing. Now, this doesn't mean you should get it into your head that you're bulletproof. But if you never take a chance, you'll never know if it would have worked out. Oh, go ahead. Assess the risks, take precautions and give it a shot.

  • Taurus Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Taurus Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    All you really wanted from this day was the chance to kick back, relax and pretend that a situation you're sure is about to erupt, won't. At least, not until you've had a chance to make a battle plan. But the phone just won't let you do that. If you've had it and you don't think you can help anyway, unplug the annoying thing and send it all to voicemail. Or better still, go and visit a friend who has no connection to the situation.

  • Gemini Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Gemini Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Think of your reputation as a party animal, and don't cancel your plans for tonight, even if the person you were going with seems to be a bit on the cranky side. Get them out and about, and help them put some distance between them and whatever -- or whomever -- the problem was. If anyone can distract someone, after all, it's definitely you. Work your magic!

  • Cancer Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Cancer Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Oh, now, stop being cranky. It's not your fault they came home in a bad mood, and it's not their fault you're of the opinion you work with morons. Besides, dwelling on either subject won't help the situation. You can turn this around if you decide to be extra sweet to each other. Misery may love company, but it's tough to be in miserable company for long. Get over it.

  • Leo Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Leo Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    You're feeling energetic and ready to rock. In fact, you can't think of anything you'd rather do than get dressed, go out, and have fun. Your partner may be up for it, too, in which case it sounds as if you'll both be late to work tomorrow. But if they're not, be merciful. Offer to give them the night off and have a blast with your friends instead.

  • Virgo Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Virgo Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Your companion for the evening, or significant other, seems to have a lot on their mind tonight. So much, in fact, you're having trouble getting their undivided attention. There's only one thing to do -- but you'd better be sure you're in private when you do it: Give them a personal lap dance. Oh, and once you have their undivided attention? Well, it's up to you what you do with it.

  • Libra Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Libra Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Prepare to become privy to at least one wonderful secret, if not more. The tricky part is you may need to keep this to yourself for a week or two. As wonderful as you'll be feeling, that may not be easy. But if you really try, you'll be able to pull it off. And when it's time for the big revelations, think of how wonderful you'll feel about letting the cat out of the bag. Pat yourself on the back when everyone wants to know how you managed to keep mum.

  • Scorpio Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Scorpio Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    You've often been complimented on your voice. But now, it's also going to be your words that will soothe, comfort and bring peace to warring factions -- even if one of those warring factions happens to be your family. You can do it. They may be at each other's throats, but you can calm them down -- just like you've always been able to. That goes for friends, too, by the way, even the newer ones.

  • Sagittarius Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Sagittarius Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    In the mood to change something about your place? Thinking that maybe it's time for a little redecorating? Or are you considering something a bit more drastic, such as moving to a foreign country? Whatever it is, ignoring it won't help. You need to be happy where you are, and if you're feeling antsy and restless, you're not happy. Do whatever it takes.

  • Capricorn Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Capricorn Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    No fair being tired. It's your time to shine, and there's at least one person out there -- at the very least -- who wants to spend some time with you. They've been patient for days, while you toiled away, being dutiful and honorable. Now it's their turn for your attention. How could you possibly deprive them of it? Why would you want to? Take a cool shower, make some coffee and rally. You can do it!

  • Aquarius Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Aquarius Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    You want to go out and play, but you want some privacy too. Huh. This could be a tough one. You'll have to be creative -- but then, that's your specialty, isn't it? Well, how about taking the person you're craving some alone time with to a hot tub? Or, even better, to the drive-in? It won't matter what's playing, so don't worry about that part. Don't forget to bring your own provisions. Massage oil, maybe? Just in case someone gets stiff from sitting in one position for too long?

  • Pisces Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    Pisces Horoscope for August 23, 2017

    You want to see your friends, but you don't want to go out. Fine. They probably are in the same kind of mood. So why not have an impromptu party at your place? Get the phone lines going, and make sure anyone who's anyone knows where and what time. Whether you order some take-out or make it a potluck, you'll have a wonderful time. And after these hectic few days, you certainly deserve a bit of rest and relaxation.


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