Image Credit: Chuck Poulsen

Have you ever answered a scam email? Of course not. You’re not stupid.
I, on the other hand . . .
Here is my conversation with Najibah Khazal. I warn you that it’s kind of long,
but justice needs to be done to Najibah’s imaginative prose and heartfelt sincerity.

Najibah to me:
Greetings my beloved friend,
I am mindful of the fact that you do not know me, so I expect that your first reaction to this mail will be total rejection, scare and may be unbelief, owing largely to the atrocities people commit these days. But this mail comes from a devastated, sorrowful and emotional heart that needs compassion from a kind and good spirited person to wipe away my tears, perhaps when I am gone beyond this sinful world.
I know the internet is not safe anymore, people have abused it so much that it is difficult to trust anyone, lies, deceit, impersonation and theft to name but few. so please, i am begging you to handle what i am about to say with pure heart and utmost secrecy. If after reading this email, you feel you cannot be of any help to me, please delete this message to avoid internet mongers pretending to me, tampering with my email.
My name is Mrs Najibah Khazal , I am a 63 years old widow of circumstance, married to an Israeli Zoologist/Researcher. We had a beautiful daughter (Hadassa) who died in 1998 after 7yrs battling with Quadriplegia paralysis.
All this years, I have been trying to leave with the loss of my only child, until death in its uninvited manner came knocking again, this time, my beloved husband, my only source of happiness was taking away while on a research mission on November 12, 2001 on a plane crash with other passengers on American Airlines Flight 587, From Chicago to Los Angeles You can read more about this incident on the links below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines_Flight_587
(Note to reader: American Airlines Flight 587 crashed in Queens, New York shortly after takeoff. Najibah’s grief at the loss of her husband probably left her geographically confused).
After my husband death, and because I am bed ridden in the hospital with Ovarian Cancer, relatives have squandered so much of his wealth in pretense of trying to help my condition because I no longer have a child of my own to inherit my husbands sweat. To avoid further squandering of his wealth and fulfill what my husband believed before his sudden death, I can no longer trust my family members and friends around me no need to talk about my late husbands relatives and I do not want this particular deposit in Malaysia to be used (ungodly) for things of the world {8.300.000.00 Million US Dollar} .
I will want you to get back to me that you will be absolutely honest about this transaction and you will use this money to the Glory of Allah. Also you have to assure me you will keep this transaction confidential till the funds get to you in your account because I don't want any relatives to know about this deposit and you will be willing to contact the Bank which is located in Malaysia and finalize all necessary formalities as to the release of the fund to you.
Presently, my condition has become more complex to an extent that it has spread into my pelvic cavity, consequently, due for another surgery that my doctors told me it is not certain i will survive. And it is my last wish that trustworthy person like you receive my funds from the finance house and use it for humanitarian purpose like setting up orphanage homes, care for destitute and misplaced people etc.
I will immediately write my lawyer to prepare a court injunction/power of attorney making you beneficiary to my fund. To prepare this document I will require your full names, full address, age and contact phone number. With this document you will contact the finance firm to arrange the transfer of the fund to you.
I place no condition on your management of the funds except that you use it for the purpose specified. With love and admiration for you and your family, Remain abundantly blessed.
Regards,
Mrs Najibah Khazal

Me to Najibah:
My dear Najibah: $8.3 million! I am breathless. I hope you do not mind my calling you by your first name but I already feel a connection to you. I am so sorry to hear of your health issues and I will pray for you before I go to bed tonight.
I must tell you that I am a Christian, although I believe all humanity has only one greater God, be that name Allah or other titles people may prefer. Praise to your Allah! Praise soccer!
As you may have read in the news, the province of Alberta in Canada has been overtaken by the godless socialists who call themselves the NDP. They are led by a treacherous communist woman named Notley.
I do much for the poor and downtrodden but should any extra money be made available to me, I would also give it to our very most wonderful Conservative politicians who are, with the grace of our God, committed to smite the heathen government now in Alberta.
Peace on earth, Chuckie.

Najibah to me: May I trust you?

Me to Najibah: Sure. I swear! Although I shouldn’t swear. My dear, I wanted to inquire, with my prayers, about your health. I was wondering if you have heard about the restorative powers of the vegetable kale. Some say it is a miracle. I have also heard that gummy bears will give the same relief.
That is such a gracious offer. Please tell me what to do.
Bless you, Chuckie.

Najibah to me: My Beloved Friend, Allah bless you and i thank you so much for your word and trust, commitment and assurance towards the use of this fund to help the less privileged which has been my dream as along with my late husband, I want you to know that Allah definitely has a purpose for this and he will surely guide you through this noble course even when i am not alive but my spirit will be with you, but always pray for me.
I have already issued a letter of authority to the finance firm in Malaysia making you beneficiary to my deposit. I take this decision because my time is short and i want to dispense this fund in the right channel before i leave this sinful world.
Please reconfirm the follow information so that there will be no problem with the documentation:
Full Name:
Contact Address:
Age&Sex
Phone Number:
Country:
Nationality:
Allah bless you and please do not let me down. Its hard trusting you but faith is stronger than anything else and mercy will not allow you fail this task because it’s all in your hands now.
PLEASE SEND ME ANY OF YOUR ID CARD.
Your sister,
Mrs Najibah Khazal

Me to Najibah: Dear Najibah, my new beloved friend. I apologize for the short delay but I too have encountered health problems. I have been diagnosed with gluten intolerance but with my God and your Allah's grace, I believe I will recover.
Here is the information you have requested:
Full Name: Chuckie
Contact Address: 90210 Shady Lane, Peachyland, Canada
Age&Sex: 39.9 years. Male.
Phone Number: 250- 666-2468
Country: Canada
Nationality: Vulcan
I look forward to your next instructions, my dear,
Chuckie

Najibah to me: Allah bless you for your zeal and seriousness to help me out in this charitable course and Allah will surely bless you. I am so sorry about your health, you are always on my prayers. I want you to know that i am a very devoted Muslim and do only the things directed by Allah. I contacted you purely on divine instruction and i want you to know that so far i prayed about this divine direction to you then Allah has appointed you for this project to bless you and your family, all i need is absolute trust and honesty when this funds get to you that it will be used to accomplish the purpose for which it was made.
Dear you are now my only source of strength and hope and you alone can make me happy.
I have already issued a letter of authority to the finance firm regarding my appointing you as my beneficiary and you are now the sole and sole beneficiary to this fund totaling $8.300,000.00 USD and you have to keep 20% for your services for you and your family.
The contact details and email of the finance firm is below and you have to contact them immediately via email "office@allianceiba-my.net" You have to provide them with every assistance the bank will need to effect the transfer to enable the funds released to you without delay. I want you to contact the bank stating only my account number:5897920333 for easy trace of my file, and also note that you “MUST” open an account with this branch of Alliance Islamic Bank before my deposit willed to you.
Address and contact email of my bank branch and head office below:
Alliance Islamic Bank
Ground & Mezzanine Floor,
65, Jalan Memanda 9,
Ampang Point,Taman Dato Ahmad Razali,
68000 Ampang, Selangor
Alliance Service Center Contact Email: office@allianceiba-my.net
Phone Number: +60 389-885-278
Please provide the following details while contacting them:
RE: TRANSFER OF THE SUM OF $8.300,000.00 Million US Dollar TO Eight Million, Three hundred Thousand United State Dollars Only .... THE beneficiary OF an Inheritance funds from Mrs Najibah Khazal.
SIR,
I am (STATE YOUR NAME HERE), who was sent to contact your paying center. I want to inform you that I am the true beneficiary of the money with account number: 5897920333. I want your finance house to start immediate transfer of my money. In this regard, I decided to apply to you as the Bank branch manager in charge of the Fund Release Department of your firm to start processing the transfer of funds to me. This is my contact information as stated below.
FULL NAME-----------------
CONTACT ADDRESS------
OCCUPATION-----------------
AGE&SEX-------------------------
TELEPHONE------- -----------
ACCOUNT NUMBER -------
The agreement i signed at the point of depositing this funds states that whoever i authorized to inherited this deposit will complete it through the use of an online account that MUST be opened by the new customer, therefore note that your contact with the Alliance Islamic Bank will involve the opening of a new private account in your name. Thank you. Najibah

Me to Najibah: My great friend Najibah: I again apologize for my delay in writing back to you but my glucose intolerance has sent me to my bed, woe that you are not here personally to sooth me.
My condition of glucose intolerance is very much curable but I don't have the money for the treatments.
I wish very much to serve your cause in Canada. If you can send me, by mail and by certified bank draft, the sum of just $5,000 (Canadian), my condition can be conquered, without doubt.
I am recovering but need further help so we may, together, fight the non-believers, such as the Communists and those who would sleep with goats. They have invaded the province of Alberta, Canada, but, with my health, I believe we can bring eternal wrath upon these devils and, in my own province, their leftie cronies in the BCTF and BCNU.
Praise my God and praise your Allah. May we meet one day in person or in the afterlife of pink rose gardens.
Your great admirer, Chuckie.

Najibah to me: Thank you so much for your effort toward the success of this project, Allah bless you. The bank cannot give you a loan. The bank only give out loans to their account holder customer.  I want you to follow the bank instruction by trying your possible best and come up with the required amount to open your online account.

Me to Najibah: My dear Najibah: It has just been diagnosed that my gluten intolerance illness may have been worsened by eating what they call a genetically modified organism, in this case a simple apple that has been poisoned by Godless scientists as if it were in the Garden of Eden.
I have taken to my bed but I have discussed your generous offer with my friend, a Mr. Michael Duffy.
He is known as a man who uses the money of others, for the good of all, of course.
He is anxious to correspond with you so that he may provide you with his necessary banking information. This is Mr. Duffy's email address: pc30@shaw.ca.
(Note to reader: This is another email address of mine)
Yours in devotion, Chuckie.                                                                               

Najibah to “Mr. Duffy:”         
Greetings my beloved friend,
I am mindful of the fact that you do not know me, so I expect that your first reaction to this mail will be total rejection . . . (Note to readers: etc., etc.)

Me to Najibah:
Dear Najibah: I've been funnin' you. Didn't you notice? I'm curious to know more about you. Where do you live? What is your life like? I live in an igloo in Canada.
I'm not the police. Can’t I just be your pen pal? Love, Chuckie

Najibah to me:
I have make it clear to you in my previous email that when you contact the bank, that you must open an account before my funds can be release to you. . .

Me to readers (who have gotten this far):
Najibah is getting short with me. Time to take the hint.
But wait, Mr. Honore Yakouba has $2.8 million just for me. Better get on it. Dear: Honore . . .

— Poulsen can be reached at poulsenc30@hotmail.com

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