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I’ve been back at work for almost two weeks now.

After what felt like a very quick maternity leave, I made the conscious (and difficult decision) to return to the work force.

It wasn’t without many sleepless nights, a constant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, and the guilt of ALSO knowing I was excited to try something new.

But after weighing the pros and cons, I knew going back to work would be the right decision for me, and more importantly, for my family.

We live in a very complicated world and sometimes there isn’t a clear path to follow. You just kind of have to work it out as you go along, and you aren’t always going to feel 100 per cent with any choice you make.

And going back to work after having children has it perks for sure.

I feel like I am a decent worker — I enjoy being challenged and watching my skill set grow, and it’s nice to engage in some adult conversation.

There are of course the financial gains employment brings — a steady paycheque and the security of a pension.

And I don't have anyone following me to the bathroom at work.

If I do, I can call security.

I also don’t need an alarm clock anymore.

I can remember the stress of setting my alarm pre-kids — sometimes two alarms — worried about sleeping in and doing the dreaded five-minute scramble.

I don’t have that problem anymore.

I essentially have two roosters living under my roof, and they keep well informed of the movements of the sun.

I was NEVER a morning person… until I had kids.

Now I’m excited to greet the day and I couldn’t imagine not being up before eight.

And then of course there is the fact being back at work makes me feel a little better about myself, and in return makes me a better mom.

I’m using different parts of my brain, I am more purposeful in my work because I want to have the best of both worlds, and I am grateful for the opportunities presented to me.

Yes I feel guilty about not being there for every step in my children’s lives. You have no idea how much it hurts to think about someone else holding them, responding to their needs, and the thought I’ve made a horrible mistake.

But then I sense my kids deep down in my heart, and I know they know they are loved and they are safe.

I walk into my office each morning and I feel grateful I get to come to job I want to be at, and that helps ease the ache.

Going back to work was the right decision for me, but it is not the right decision for everyone, and there will always be a component of uncertainty.

I keep reminding myself, it has only been two weeks and I still have time to figure it all out.

— Becky Mann is a 30-something, red haired, mother of two, trying to navigate this life as best she can. She enjoys talking to people and discovering their stories. Still trying to balance her personal and professional life, she juggles work and play. In her spare time Becky can be found visiting with friends, spending time with her family and saving time by reading while walking, She knows there is so much more to come and is looking forward to the continued adventure.

News from © iNFOnews, 2018