Image Credit: SUBMITTED

OPINION

I read a recent article that tried to make a case for getting rid of some rules of dining etiquette. Those rules, said the writer, “are made to be broken.” The writer’s logic seems flawed, at best, with advice like this.

“Maybe there was a time when placing your elbows on the table while eating was considered rude, but does anyone care about that anymore? Resting your elbow on the table so you can then rest your chin on your hand while contemplating what to order seems completely natural.”

Hmmm. I decided then and there…this writer would never be a dinner guest in my home. Eating at a table probably isn’t his thing anyway. I see him more outdoorsy…around a roaring campfire with a kettle of beans…like the old Mel Brooks movie, “Blazing Saddles.”

I imagine him perfectly comfortable with the cowboys circled around that campfire. No worries about elbows on the table. Instead, with every heaping mouthful of steaming hot beans…each cowboy randomly lifts one or the other side of his ass…and rips a loud, long fart.

Now, maybe there was a time when ripping a loud fart as you ate was considered rude, but does anyone care about that any more? Certainly wouldn’t rustle the feathers of Mr. No-Rules …c’mon…it’s perfectly natural.

(DON THOMPSON / iNFOnews.ca)

Hey, it used to be little diners were taught table manners with the help of little rhymes like, “Mabel, Mabel, if you’re able, keep your elbows off the table.” Parents who say such etiquette doesn’t matter today…also probably ask, what’s the harm of having your cell phone or writing tablet and ear pods at the table?

Elbows on the table has been a no-no for a couple thousand years…in all cultures. One of the oldest books of etiquette - The Bible - instructs in the Book of Ecclesiastes, that you’re supposed to feel just as ashamed of “stretching your elbow at dinner” as you would “breaking an oath or a covenant”.

Of course, my experience with most Bible advocates is they often choose which verses in the Good Book that they want to believe and follow. But you don’t have to be a Biblical scholar to understand simple, thoughtful considerations at the dining table…it requires little more than common sense.

Most of us wouldn’t stretch our legs into an aisle on a plane or theatre…or take off our shoes and socks to get comfortable in these settings. Elbows on the table are an encroachment on others’ space…stay between your knife and fork at the table.

It’s a slippery slope, for sure. Forget dining etiquette like elbows on the table…what’s wrong with chewing your food with your mouth open…it’s not that noisy, so what’s the harm?

There are good reasons we have common-sense “rules” about table manners. It’s civilized. It shows - at least for a half-hour - that families can sit together and show some measure of respect toward their loved ones.

We all have choices in raising children…and hundreds of other behaviours that define how we live with each other. What we do as children end up life-long habits...as adults…good or bad.

In a few generations we have gone from dinner hours that could never be missed by a family member without a special dispensation from the Pope…or higher…a parent’s prior approval…to catch-as-catch-can dinners.

Too many families no longer even have a set dinner time…kids eat at different times…in front of the television or their electronic devices…or on the run. There are always “good” reasons…busy, busy lives…hockey, soccer, dance class…things to do. Choices…always choices.

Back to the article that percolated this column. The writer says it’s time to put a knife in some other dining etiquette rules. Ladies first, he writes, should never apply…not in ordering food or getting served.

Equating a deference to ladies as robbing them of their autonomy is simply wrong-headed. Like, using “Sir” or “Ma’m” or opening a door - for a man or woman - or simply being courteous…these moments of politeness should never go out of style.

The writer also attacks things every restaurant server has been taught from day one. Serving food from the left and clearing plates from the right…is the standard…like telling a plumber, “right to tight”.

Our writer says, it’s okay if you’re in a “Michelin-starred” place, but, heavens, not for Cracker Barrel. His defence is as logical as his other let’s-blow-up-the-etiquette-rules advice.

“The scrambled eggs and hash brown are going to taste the same no matter what side it comes from.”

We’re left to ponder…whether the food in the Michelin-starred place tastes the same or differently if served from the wrong side.

Our writer finishes up getting fully behind just a single rule: “No shirt, no shoes, no service…can be written in stone,” he sums up.

Honestly, etiquette and good manners are more like facts…than opinions. You can’t avoid facts because you don’t like them…and simply think they’re somehow outdated.

If you’re at our home for a meal…and you put your elbows on the table…if you’re ten years old, you’ll hear, “Mabel, Mable, if you’re able, get your elbows of the table.”

An adult, well, maybe no serenading rhyme…perhaps just a polite glance.

— Don Thompson, an American awaiting Canadian citizenship, lives in Vernon and in Florida. In a career that spans more than 40 years, Don has been a working journalist, a speechwriter and the CEO of an advertising and public relations firm. A passionate and compassionate man, he loves the written word as much as fine dinners with great wines.

We welcome your comments and opinions on our stories but play nice. We won't censor or delete comments unless they contain off-topic statements or links, unnecessary vulgarity, false facts, spam or obviously fake profiles. If you have any concerns about what you see in comments, email the editor.

News from © iNFOnews, 2025