Image Credit: ADOBE STOCK

A Salmon Arm woman guides monthly groups of parents or families struggling to cope with adult children who are addicted to drugs, have mental health issues or have a combination of both.

“We’re talking about loved ones living rough, have severe mental illnesses and are using substances on the street,” said Kathleen, whose adult son has schizophrenia and a drug addiction. “The groups are peer led, and even though I facilitate... I gain strength from others that are in similar circumstances.”

Kathleen’s son has been moving through a revolving door of jail and mental health units in hospitals for many years. iNFOnews.ca is withholding Kathleen's last name, at her request, so as not to identify her son who is currently in custody and is unable to give consent to share parts of his story.

At the Holding Hope group, parents support one another as they navigate difficult emotions and celebrate the strengths and values of their loved ones in the face of public stigma and a broken healthcare system.

“What happens with substance use or mental health is there is so much stigma about it, people just write those people off,” Kathleen said. “Looking at the human qualities of our kids is a coping mechanism for people that come to the group. You’ve got to see the whole person and celebrate their gifts and strengths.

“You realize the mental health and drugs is just another part of their being. You make them human and that is hopeful, instead of demonizing and stigmatizing.”

Kathleen said the symptoms of schizophrenia first began appearing in her son when he was in his late teens, although she didn’t spot them right away.

“He had lots of goals and he loved travelling,” she said. “We both scuba dived together when he was young, looking at all the cool things at the bottom of the ocean. He could play the saxophone and was an amazing potter, and he was very athletic.” 

He started drinking alcohol and eventually moved to hard drugs, and ended up living rough on the streets of Victoria. Kathleen described those years as a “blur” where she struggled to understand what he was going through. 

In 2017, she went to visit him in Victoria where they were to meet for a Mother's Day supper. He had lost his apartment was living on the streets.

“I got a text from his uncle who is a doctor there and had been called in to work to assist with an injured homeless man and when he got there, he found out the man was my son,” she said. “It was stressful. I went to the hospital and washed my son’s hands and feet.”

Her son was sent to a treatment centre in Coquitlam under the BC Mental Health Act for a year-long stay which was followed by a year of supportive housing on the same site. But when he moved into market housing, everything fell apart. He was taken to jail for behaving erratically after he stopped taking his meds.

“He had aggressive behaviour and was using handheld torches to light cigarettes,” Kathleen said. “He went to the neighbour’s and dispensed contractor spray foam on their deck."

She said jail is not the place for people that use drugs or have mental illness.

“Psych wards in hospitals if aggressive behaviour is an issue,” she said. “People say lock them up, but hospitals can do that and offer proper treatment.”

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There have been several occasions over the years when Kathleen’s son was taken to a hospital for mental health stays but they were only a few months long at most.

“It isn’t long enough for these kinds of issues,” she said “If the ordinary person has depression, they see a councillor for longer than that. Short term mental health stays don’t work.”

Last month, the province dedicated 18 beds to long-term involuntary care at a mental health facility in Maple Ridge, designed for people with complex mental health disorders that are outside of the criminal justice system. 

The model is meant to be an alternative for patients living in high-security hospitals.

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In April, the province announced the opening of a 10-unit involuntary care facility in Surrey for people in jail with addiction and mental health issues, in an attempt to stop them cycling through the justice system without getting better.

The topic of involuntary care has been controversial, and Kathleen said while she and her son were fortunate that involuntary treatment and subsequent supportive housing was covered for him by the BC government in 2017, she doesn’t fully support treatment being forced. 

“There has always been the option in BC to certify someone if you feel they are a risk to themselves or others, although it can take a lot of work,” she said. “But when you put yourself in someone else’s shoes does it make sense to haul them away and put them in a locked place against their will? It’s hard because it’s so complex.”

Kathleen is supportive of harm reduction, another often controversial topic where harm reduction is seen by some as enabling drug users.

“The abstinence-based philosophy comes from Alcoholics Anonymous and doesn’t work for everybody,” she said. “Setting boundaries is a more workable term. If your loved one is living at home a boundary might be to not allow drugs in the house. Setting boundaries is a more compassionate way of looking at it, enabling is embedded with stigma.

“Harm reduction values life. How are you going to treat dead people?”

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The number of toxic drug overdose deaths reported to the BC Coroners Service is approaching 17,000 since the province declared a state of emergency in 2016, with the primary killer being unregulated fentanyl, according to the BC Coroners Service. 

Kathleen said stigma against people living rough is stronger than ever and more people are losing compassion as the crisis wears on. She said there was a time when she looked at tent cities and people living rough with judgement, but has changed her views.

“I didn’t like all the litter and wondering why they couldn’t just clean it up but that was so judgemental,” she said. “I’ve been able to change my thinking, that has been a gift from my son. All the people I’ve met through him has been a gift because I no longer look people with that narrow frame of mind.”

Kathleen’s son is currently in jail again but she isn’t sure if he was charged for trespassing or being a nuisance. She doesn’t know if he is receiving any mental health treatment while detained.

“There are a lot of emotions, it can be all over the place,” she said. “Now my son is in jail, we’re back on that runaway rollercoaster, but I can control the speed."

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Kathleen “controls the speed” with deep breathing techniques, meditation and doing art. Having a loving partner helps, along with guiding the Holding Hope group.

“Our group commonalities are the resilience of our kids, how loving and compassionate and sharing they are, and how liked they are,” she said. “There's comfort in knowing the person across the table is in a similar situation and they get it. That is so affirming.”

Overseen by Moms Stop the Harm, Holding Hope groups are for families with loved ones who use substances and can be found in various cities across the country. 

— With files from The Canadian Press

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