Kamloops resident Justin Bourke smiles for a selfie with his young daughter in this undated photo.

Image Credit: SUBMITTED/ Justin Bourke

A Kamloops man in who survived five years in the foster care system in the late 1980s is working through the trauma to become the best father he can be to his little girl.

Justin Bourke can’t remember how many foster care homes he was bounced around between the ages of four and nine, after he was removed from his biological family.

“I had an abusive early childhood and then my birth family lost visitation rights with me at age seven,” he said. “I went through a lot of homes, I think I was deemed a problem child because of the abuse I went through.”

Bourke can’t remember a lot of the things that happened during that time, or the names of the families he spent time with.

“I tend to block stuff out, I know there was trauma in a few of these homes. In the first home someone got in trouble for abusing a kid and I ended up getting moved to a second home where the family wasn’t that accepting.”

At the age of six Bourke was having behavioural and learning problems, and was getting bullied at school. He was moved into the home of single mom but was later moved again to a temporary home when she was dealing with health problems. 

“I ended up getting molested by one the older siblings in that house and when I moved back to the former home, I was told I was lying about it," he said. "As a little boy it wasn’t good for my self esteem.

"It felt like a lot of families were just doing it for the money."

Bourke was diagnosed with general learning disabilities on top of the issues he was dealing with from bullying, abuse and being moved around different homes. He said if it wasn’t for being adopted by when he was nine, he would likely be on the streets like so many others who went through the system.

“I was lucky enough to be adopted and remember the whole process,” he said. “Even after I was adopted it was a tough road, but I had the education and stability, and had parents that nurtured my learning disabilities. I wouldn’t have had that in the foster care system. I think I’d have untreated mental health and addictions issues."

Now age 40 and the father of a little girl, he's been sorting out his mental health with a counsellor over the past couple of years. 

“I like having closure so I’m dealing with early childhood trauma,” he said. “I have trust issues, I have a hard time building relationships, especially long-term ones. I remember being very young and worrying about not seeing my mom again but then I got used to moving and detached emotionally.”

His daughter, who has an autism diagnosis, is the focus of his life.

“As a parent I’m hyper acute about managing my behaviour, I think I’m being abusive when I’m not. I get anxious, I’m afraid of being the people who harmed me. I can’t let my own child fall through the cracks like I did. My biggest pride is being a cycle breaker."

Three years ago, Bourke said he tried to access government records on his foster placements through a freedom of information request.

“It kept getting delayed until this past summer when I was told everything had been redacted, I wasn’t allowed to know any names or have access to a lot of the information I’d requested. I decided to drop it, I'd just have to deal with the trauma." 

In 2016, Bourke met his biological sister who had been posting in a Vernon group looking for him.

“It’s interesting we both entered the social work field in order to help others. My biggest regret is not making the effort to find her sooner.”

READ MORE: HIGHWAY TO HOMELESSNESS: A Kamloops foster care survivor’s account

In the past, Bourke said he’s written letters to politicians on how to improve the transition of aging out.

“I feel I have to be a voice, we’re a lost demographic. I think the biggest issue with the system is they have bureaucrats who don’t know what it’s like to be in the foster cares system making policy decisions.”

The child welfare system is often described as a highway to homelessness with an estimated quarter of youth aging out of the system at age 18 becoming homeless, and roughly half of homeless people across the country having spent time in the system. 

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