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For even the jolliest of folk, the holiday season can quickly shift to a hectic and stressful time, filled with too much food, too much alcohol, overspending and not enough rest, which can all hinder mental health.

“This time of year really places a lot of expectations on individuals,” Jessica Samuels with the Canadian Mental Health Association in Kelowna said. “It’s really a joyful and jolly time of year for many folks, but for others, it absolutely is not, and that’s because of the pressures of life.”

Individuals could feel unrealistic expectations from society, or internally from family during the holidays, such as finding the perfect gift, having the perfect tree, or making the perfect dinner.

“These are really unrealistic expectations that don’t set us up for success or good mental health,” Samuels said.

To lessen the holiday expectations, Samuels suggests individuals create new traditions that bring back the meaning of the holiday season.

“Maybe you couldn’t find the perfect gift because of supply chain issues, or money could be tighter this year because of COVID, how can you do things differently? Spend time with somebody instead, make a gift or thrift."

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While the holidays are typically a time to gather with friends and family, Samuels encourages individuals to find a balance of finding connections without getting burnt out.

“This time of year is a combination of the pressures to celebrate, and to be happy, but not everybody wants to participate in that way. Connection is important, it’s how we feel like we belong, and it nurtures our mental health, but for some individuals, too much connection, and too many gatherings can be a source of anxiety,” Samuels said.

“It’s good to reassess and determine what’s important to you. Give yourself some grace, we shouldn’t have to force ourselves to be merry or put ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable.”

While the holidays can be associated with family stress, Samuels suggests family members do proactive things, such as multiple family members helping cook dinner, or not spending the entire day together, to ensure anxiety and conflicts don’t build.

“It lessens the burden from one person and takes the pressure off of a large number of individuals with anxiety building, and perhaps so does the conflict,” Samuels said. “For the most part, folks try to put their best foot forward, but the nature of anxiety associated around the holiday season doesn’t always allow us to do that.”

In addition to family gatherings, holiday parties can also be a source of anxiety, but even more now with the added uncertainty of COVID-19.

“We have a level of uncertainty where folks don’t know if they should be going, who’s going to wear a mask or whose been vaccinated, and that creates a level of anxiety,” Samuels said. “Ultimately give yourself some grace, do a self-assessment, honour your feelings, it’s OK if you’re not ready to celebrate.”

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Samuels encourages individuals to be honest with those around them about how they are feeling, and if they are not comfortable to politely decline a gathering invitation.

“If you’re someone receiving that information, receive it with grace and understanding,” she said. “Not everybody is on the same level, or expectations on how they feel about COVID-19. We are in COVID fatigue, that’s no surprise with the ongoing groundhog day of the constant uncertainty of COVID, and now with the holiday season it’s exhausting.”

While connecting with each other is important, Samuels wants to ensure individuals are also taking care of themselves at the same time, as overeating, increased alcohol consumption and not getting enough rest can negatively impact mental health.

Eating right, exercising and getting enough rest are foundational elements to manage physical and mental health.

“We’re in the time of holiday parties, late nights and rich foods, if you’ve gone a couple of days without the regular routine, make a focus to go back to the routine,” Samuels said.

How the holiday season can impact teenagers

Much like how the holidays can be stressful for adults, teens can also experience holiday burnout.

“Pandemic-related restrictions, such as restrictions on gatherings can exacerbate their mental health issues, which in turn can negatively affect the mental health of other family members,” the creator of Charlie Wellbeing Matthew Segal said in a media release.

“Canadian teens are already dealing with a wide range of challenging issues such as anxiety, substance abuse, school conflicts, emotional regulation, identity formation, sexuality, gender issues, bullying and more, and now the Omicron variant is turning their world turned upside down yet again.”

Key warning signs families should watch for include their child being withdrawn, abnormal sleeping patterns, communicating less, increased time on social media and not being home as much as usual.

Segal suggests parents pay attention to their child’s mood fluctuations, be open to listening and talking to them about how they are feeling, practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, incorporate activities their child enjoys into the family routine and invite their children to help with tasks like cooking dinner.

“Be kind and gentle with yourself this time of year. It ranges from the way you prepare for the holidays all the way to recognizing that you need help and going and asking for that help,” Samuels said.

How to get help, even if you just need to talk to someone

Throughout the holidays the mental health association has resources on its website here available for anyone struggling. If you or your family is in a crisis, the association encourages you to seek medical professional help.

Here is a list of ways to find help provided by the mental health association:

Canada Suicide Prevention Service Call: 1-833-456-4566 or Text: 45645

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Interior Crisis Line 1-888-353-2273

Indigenous People - Adults and elders 250-723-4050, children and youth 250-723-2040, 24 hour crisis lines from the KUU-US Crisis Line Society. Go here for more information.

Mental Health and Substance Use supports 310-6478

Community Response Team (CRT) 250-212-8533

Kid’s Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 or text 686868

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