Image Credit: Chuck Poulsen

The actor in the Conservative's TV ad is beside himself.

Hearing that Justin wants to legalize marijuana, he sneers: “Is that really the biggest problem we have?”

Seeing how he asked, I sneered back: “Close to it!”

Canada needs the revenue and doesn’t need the gangs to keep getting Lamborghini-rich off the proceeds. Yes, they do.

I wish the marijuana question had been asked at the debate.

In short, Justin and Elizabeth May want marijuana legalized, Harper does not. Mulcair wants to decriminalize it. Who doesn’t, except Harper?

Then Mulcair wants to study it. Mulcair wants to study everything.

Mulcair and Harper could use some inspiration.

The South African Journal of Science reported last month that it had come up with new evidence that William Shakespeare smoked marijuana.

To be high or not to be high?

This notion first came up many years ago, but using the latest technology, South African forensic scientists examined residue from the clay pipes found in Will’s garden at Stratford upon Avon.

The analysis was made after a South African scientist had a hunch that “And keep invention in noted weed" in one of Shakespeare’s sonnets may have hinted at how Will achieved such a creative state of mind.

The archeologists used a sophisticated technique called gas chromatography mass spectrometry. (I don’t know what it means either, but it sounds irrefutable).

And there it was. Little cannabis clinkers left behind in Will’s pipes.

Perhaps this explains why Shakespeare excelled at writing dialogue for crazy people.

What was the loony Lady Macbeth really thinking when she said: “Out, damn'd spot! Out, I say!”

The meaning is much debated. Maybe Will woke up straight the next morning and didn’t know either.

It’s not just Shakespeare who helped find invention with the help of weed.

Here are some famous figures from history who also toked up (or drank it in tea):
* Queen Victoria. Her physician, Sir Russell Reynold, prescribed marijuana for her menstrual cramps in 1823. Reynolds said that marijuana was "one of the most valuable medicines we possess." In Victoria’s case, this also proved that marijuana does not make someone wild and crazy.
* Joan of Arc used marijuana and maybe magic mushrooms. Burned at the stake. Tough law. Let’s not give the Conservatives any ideas.
* The Pharaohs. Cannabis pollen was found on the mummy of Ramesses II. Details on papyrus say it was used for many medical purposes, including hemorrhoids, or, perhaps as a cure for Harper’s anal retentiveness on this issue.
* George Washington grew hemp on his Mount Vernon farm. Hemp smemp. George’s diary showed he was growing varietals with a high THC content for medicinal purposes.
* Elizabeth I, daughter of Henry VIII. She required the larger farmers to grow at least some marijuana and fined them five pounds if they didn’t. Marijuana mellowed Liz I. She didn’t lop off heads like dad, who also decapitated Liz I’s mother, Anne Boleyn. Living in that family, it’s understandable that Liz needed a little escape.
* Christopher Columbus brought cannabis seeds to the Americas with him, suggesting that’s why he discovered the Dominican Republic and not New York.
* The ancient Greek scholars swallowed cannabis seeds to get rid of tapeworm. OK, maybe not so profound.

This column was written without the use of marijuana. In case you’re wondering why it wasn’t better.

Chuck Poulsen can be reached at poulsenc30@hotmail.com

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