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MANN: Just like the smokey skies, friendships come and go

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August 16, 2018 - 12:11 PM

OPINION


Right now it looks like November outside — it’s cold and gray out, and every park I drive past is completely empty of children.

It reminds me of this old My Little Pony movie where a giant black cloud blocks out the sun, threatening all the ponies’ happiness.

Where has summer gone?

I still have hope the winds of change will come blasting through and send this smoke back where it came from, put out the fires and gifting us a few final and beautiful weeks of August.

Until then, I am hiding indoors, finding myself spending a lot more time on social media than I usually would, checking in on what my ‘friends’ have been up to.

I enjoy seeing pictures of vacations, cringe-worthy kissing, and of course, everyone’s adorable pet photos.

August is kind of a sentimental month to begin with — for me anyway.

It reminds me of summers past coming to a close, feet returning to their shoes, and saying goodbye to newfound friendships, as fall leads us back to the status quo.

Friendship is a funny thing.

You have this picture in your mind when you are young — a close-knit group of friends (or a few groups) that you share experiences with and challenges with, and they share a piece of you — sometimes unfamiliar to yourself in later years.

And then you dive into adulthood, and you learn that friendship is something so different….it changes, and it’s complicated, and it’s work.

You want to retain friendships with you childhood friends, and some of us do, but other friendships are lost with changes in professions and hobbies, and let’s face it, some times geography gets in the way.

And I don’t want to say we suddenly become pickier with who we spend our time, but our time becomes less and less disposable and we start to become choosier and choosier about what we want to do with any free time we do have.

And by this point you see people starting to couple up, and your significant other also has an affect on who you retain relationships with.

How many times have you heard yourself make promises to meet up for a coffee, or catch up on life with someone— knowing full well it may never happen.

And it’s not because you don’t want it to happen.

That’s just life.

And then you add children into the mix, and you are suddenly back at square one, because yes you want to meet Candace for a cappuccino (I just like how ‘C’ and ‘C’ sound together), but Candace’s kids and you kids aren’t exactly on the same wave length.

It’s just different.

Your priorities are always changing and you want to make the best decision to help you children thrive, and sometimes that comes at a cost of retaining relationships.

I think what I am trying to say is that friends will come and go in your life, and you will come and go in someone’s life, and you may lose touch or maybe you won’t be able to establish what you know would be a really great friendship, but I truly believe it all works out the way it is supposed to.

— Becky Mann is a 30-something, red haired, mother of two, trying to navigate this life as best she can. She enjoys talking to people and discovering their stories. Still trying to balance her personal and professional life, she juggles work and play. In her spare time Becky can be found visiting with friends, spending time with her family and saving time by reading while walking, She knows there is so much more to come and is looking forward to the continued adventure.


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