Image Credit: Compilation/Jennifer Stahn

STRESS HAS HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES—SO WHY GIVE OURSELVES SOMETHING ELSE TO STRESS ABOUT?

There is a new ailment sweeping the anxiety-fueled generation of western 20-somethings, and it’s not really recognized by any other culture as being a thing. Adrenal fatigue is pummeling the nation, one stressed-out student at a time, and now there are diets, schmiets, and all sorts of riots surrounding the havoc your over-worked adrenal glands are wreaking on your gorgeous body.

It’s very much the gluten-free band wagon of 2011.

If you have recently been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, forgive me. I am very confident you are struggling. The new illnesses of today take time to understand, and maybe we just haven’t all reached that point yet.

The issue with adrenal fatigue though, is that it is designed to have all the symptoms of regular, every day, normal-person, un-balanced life — you gain weight, you’re tired, you can’t always think straight, your hormones go wonky....

You have convinced yourself you have adrenal fatigue, haven’t you?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

If you quit sugar all together and monitor your pH levels (eat lemon! But not high-acidity food! What?), if you stay warm (but not too warm) and go for a brisk walk regularly (not too brisk, now) and if you sleep the same eight hours a night including Saturdays (uh, sure), then you might be able to combat your symptoms and return to life as you knew it.

Which, in case you haven’t figured out yet, is exactly as it is right now.

We get it, Dr. Oz — it`s not good to be too busy. It`s not healthy to eat only Egg McMuffins and Sour Patch Kids. It`s not all right to sleep four hours a night and live coffee cup to coffee cup — yes, I know — but is the prescription really yet another dose of fear?

Just once I want to turn on the television or pick up a newspaper and read “This Just In: You’re gaining weight because you’re lazy!” or “Extra, Extra: You’re exhausted because you sleep with the television on!” or “Read All About it: Your hormones are wonky because you've been eating all the Wendy’s Chubby Chicken burgers before they stopped using antibiotics!”

We don’t need to be told there’s a reason behind unhappy bodies called sickness, we need to be told that the reason our bodies are unhappy is because we live a western lifestyle which calls for high-intensity and not in a circuit-workout way. We need to be told that this doesn't make us horrible people, it makes us average.

The average person does not listen to that ancient proverb (or whatever it is) that states your body is a temple. Heck, the majority us wouldn't know how to treat a temple either — like, can I bring my Starbucks in or...?

Stress has horrible, horrible consequences — so why give ourselves something else to stress about?

As much as I like to talk myself into believing I have the next fad illness, I’m tired of making excuses. The longer we continue to internet-diagnose ourselves with autoimmune disorders and chronic fatigue and pituitary gland issues the longer we ignore the real problem — the lifestyle we celebrate in North America as one of enjoyment and success is one that isn't doing anything good for us. 

We work hard, we play harder and we eat a whole lot while we do both.

So yeah, our adrenals are probably fatigued, but that’s not the problem — it’s the warning sign. The problem comes later, when our love of excess gets in the way of our love for ourselves.

With that said, if they tell me to throw out my Starbucks before entering, you can bet there’s going to be uproar. I’m one gold star away from a free eggnog latte and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what the doctor ordered.

— Andria is a twenty-something blogger from Kamloops

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