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OPINION

Donald Trump sees squirrels…lots of them. Trump can be anywhere talking about most anything…usually himself…when a squirrel happens. Out of nowhere, he injects a comment that simply doesn’t make sense…or to clarify…makes even less sense than what he was talking about before a squirrel stole his attention.

Getting inside Trump’s mind is dangerous work…something most sane folks would be wise to avoid. But sometimes, we must delve into Trump’s thinking…to better understand how we got into this mess…and let’s be honest, mess is a polite reference.

The problem with analyzing Trump’s penchant for being distracted by the squirrels in his mind…is that it’s almost impossible to keep up with him. For example, by the time you read this…he will have chased more squirrels than either of my two Borzoi hounds in their eight-year lives.

Here’s how it happens. Say Trump is talking about immigration…when something someone said to him - maybe minutes before or some time that day or a week before - occupies his mind. It is, apparently, irresistible.

(DON THOMPSON / iNFOnews.ca)

It can even be a movie, say, “Escape from Alcatraz” or “Birdman of Alcatraz”. Maybe one of those flicks shot into Trump’s mind over the weekend recently when he declared on social media that the Bureau of Prisons should rebuild and reopen Alcatraz as “a symbol of Law, Order, and JUSTICE.”

When a reporter had the temerity to ask how he came up with the idea, Trump simply offered that he should have been a “moviemaker,” before praising the island’s security.

“Nobody ever escaped,” he said, almost telling the truth. “One person almost got there, but they - as you know the story - they found his clothing rather badly ripped up. It was a lot of shark bites, a lot of problems.”

For the record, five prisoners escaped over the years…two were later captured in San Francisco…and three were never found. Maybe shark food…maybe living in Canada.

Alcatraz held it’s final prisoner when I was a kid playing Little League baseball…1962. Eleven years later, Alcatraz opened to the public and in 1986 was added to the list of National Historic Landmarks. The National Park Service operates the former prison…now one of San Francisco’s top attractions.

Nearly 1.5 million tourists visit Alcatraz Island, walking the park and enjoying the museum and bird sanctuary. Each visitor - every man, woman and child - spends $25 to $56 to tour Alcatraz. They spend that much or more in the gift shop as you exit the museum.

Trump’s plan - or perhaps concept of a plan - not only won’t make money. It will cost hundreds of millions…maybe $1 Billion. Alcatraz prison opened in 1934…and until it closed nearly 30 years later…just 1,576 inmates called it home. At no time were there more than 336 prisoners.

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Truth be told…Alcatraz never made sense financially. Everything for the prison…every bit of food, all the waste and garbage, supplies, as well as every shift change of guards and prison personnel - a total of 155 people every day - was transported by boat…every day for 30 years.

Like most squirrels Trump chases…building and reopening Alcatraz as a prison would be expensive. But Trump’s Republican lap dogs wasted little time in supporting the concept…without even knowing the true cost. That’s how today’s MAGA Republicans think…or don’t think.

Like so many Trump plans - again, let’s call them concepts - this one borders on the absurd. Trump squirrels…like invading Greenland, making Canada the 51st state, “taking back the Panama Canal” and re-naming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America…leave the world pondering…is this man crazy?

It is a valid question. Even Clint Eastwood, who starred in “Escape from Alcatraz”, might give his trademark look…squinting and arching one eyebrow about Trump’s sanity.

The world has experienced less than four months of Trump’s reign…and he’s acting more like a king than a president every day.

There are loads of examples that beg the question of Trump’s competency. Just after the death of Pope Francis, Trump posted on social media a picture of himself as Pope…dressed in a Pope’s cassock and the traditional tall Triple Crown. Who does that? A sane person?

Then, last week Trump decreed on Truth Social that he was “hereby renaming May 8th as Victory Day for World War II” and Veterans Day in November would be “Victory Day for World War I.”

Just for the record, Trump never served a day in the military…and was given four deferments. In 1968, a somewhat questionable doctor gave him a diagnosis of bone spurs, giving him a medical exemption from the military during Vietnam. The doctor’s daughter has since said the ailment was made up…a favour for Trump and his father, Fred.

Even so, next month Trump gets to once again play military on June 16…the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, Trump is throwing a parade at taxpayer expense in Washington, D.C. By the way, June 16 is Trump’s 79th birthday…convenient, eh?

The two-hour parade is estimated to cost $45 Million, according to the Department of Defense, which means it’ll likely be more like $60 Million. There will be 6,600 soldiers, 50 aircraft and 150 vehicles, including tanks that weigh 30 tons and more. Taxpayers will pick up the tab for road repairs that could run into the tens of millions of dollars.

Again, who’s crazy?

Then there’s this. Trump - who doesn’t read or know much about, well, almost any subject - imposed a 100 percent tariff on foreign films. Hollywood had $22.6 Billion in movie exports and $7.3 Billion in foreign movie imports in 2023, the most recent year tabulated. That’s a $15.3 Billion U.S. trade surplus.

I know this from a Google search of Hollywood movie production…but apparently no Trump lackey knows the facts or they’re afraid to tell the boss he’s full of it. Never mind that this isn’t the 1930s…film production today usually involves multiple companies in multiple countries with multiple shooting locations.

Of course, maybe the last movie Trump saw was…wait for it….“Escape from Alcatraz”.

Look, folks, it’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets better. It’s Spring, squirrels are just starting to get frisky. This might be the longest Summer since I was 12 years old…you know…the year Alcatraz prison closed.

— Don Thompson, an American awaiting Canadian citizenship, lives in Vernon and in Florida. In a career that spans more than 40 years, Don has been a working journalist, a speechwriter and the CEO of an advertising and public relations firm. A passionate and compassionate man, he loves the written word as much as fine dinners with great wines.

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