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(CHARLOTTE HELSTON / iNFOnews.ca)

An abusive Kootenay man who bullied and threatened his ex-wife during their decades together has failed in his attempt to get half the house she bought after they separated.

BC Supreme Court Justice David Crossin said Gregory Wayne McKinley used “coercive control, bullying, abuse and manipulation" and spoke to his ex-wife "like a dog."

"Mr. McKinley was excessively verbally abusive towards (her)," the Justice said.

The details of the unhappy marriage are laid out in a June 18, BC Supreme Court decision, after Gregory went after Virginia Maria McKinley's home, which he'd also put a certificate of pending litigation on.

The decision said the couple met while working for Canadian National Railway and got married in 1990. They lived in various places in the Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island throughout their marriage.

"The evidence is quite clear that the marriage was often marked by abusive and controlling behaviour directed at (Virginia) by (Gregory)," the Justice said in the decision. (Gregory) is a large, almost 400 lb., man. (Virginia) is a petite woman who has been plagued by physical and mental disability throughout most of the marriage."

Over the years, the couple, who are now in their late 60s, separated on numerous occasions, but got back together.

Then in 2018, Virginia said she'd "had enough" and the couple separated.

They sold their house in Shook and she bought a house in Grand Forks with her mother, who is now 90 years old.

However, Gregory then went and moved in. He stayed for two and a half years.

"(She) submits her physical and mental condition, coupled with (his) overbearing, manipulative, and abusive conduct ensnared her as an unwilling participant in his life as he simply entrenched himself on the property and did what he wanted," the decision read.

In January 2022, she got a protection order, and Gregory finally left.

After he was kicked out, he took his ex-wife to court, arguing the couple were still in a marriage-like relationship and he wanted 50% of her home.

The case went to trial, and both parties spent a week testifying.

The Justice was tasked to decide whether they were still in a marriage-like relationship and if Gregory had a claim on the property.

Gregory argued that they were still together while at the Grand Forks house, while Virginia said the exact opposite.

"She testified she called the police, and had them attend on many occasions to try and rid him from the property," the Justice said.

Gregory accused his ex-wife of "setting up a scenario" and a "conspiracy to swindle me out of my share of the marital assets."

The Justice said his testimony was marked by "combativeness, dissembling, and self-serving soliloquies" and that he found it "virtually impossible to answer simple questions without veering into self-serving explanations and accusations."

The decision said the relationship history between the two was tumultuous, with arguing and fighting coupled with abuse and controlling behaviour.

"Ms. McKinley testified that Mr. McKinley did constantly yell and swear at her. She testified he was a bully. Ms. McKinley testified that Mr. McKinley also hit and punched her on occasion," the decision read.

In 2012, Virginia was in a coma for a few days following a serious car crash, which left her with a broken back and a brain injury. She was supposed to go have extensive rehabilitation in Kelowna, but didn't go because Gregory said he would look after her.

"She testified he did everything but look after her," the Justice said.

One witness testified that Gregory treated his wife "like a dog" in public.

Justice Crossin said Virginia's mother "hated" Gregory for good reason.

Gregory said his mother-in-law hated him because he had a Scottish name, although he later admitted she might have hated him because he'd been abusing her daughter for decades.

In arguing that they were in a marriage-like relationship, Gregory said they were sexually active "a few times a year in the last two to three years." He said a couple of times a month they'd lie on the bed and watch a movie, and they would often hug.

She testified that there was never any intimacy.

The police were called to the property numerous times, and Gregory accused his ex-wife of calling them to "create a paper trail against him."

He accused his wife of being a drug addict and becoming addicted to opioids after her car crash.

The decision goes over the couple's finances and she says she paid for everything while he lived in the Grand Forks home. She said she was generally in constant pain and was in a wheelchair from time to time.

The Justice said Virginia was "clearly in a highly vulnerable state" while Gregory was living at the home.

While Gregory argued they were still a couple at the time, the Justice didn't agree.

"Any outward trappings that might be interpreted as giving the appearance of a shared life; committed to permanent mutual support... is an illusion, and a complete product of (his) pattern of abusive behaviour," Justice Crossin said. "She felt more like a hostage than someone sharing a life."

The Justice described her as an "unwilling victim."

"There is no doubt on the evidence the dynamic between... (them) was that of threats, control, and abuse. The power imbalance was overwhelming in all aspects of the relationship," the Justice said. "(He) approached matters on the basis he had absolute authority to do whatever he wished. He controlled all aspects of their life in Grand Forks, including matters of business relating to the property, and of finances. He overstayed his welcome in large measure as a result of coercive control, bullying, abuse and manipulation."

Ultimately, the Justice dismissed his claim, granted them a divorce, and cancelled the certificate of pending litigation.

Gregory is now left to pay the court costs.

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