Sheldon Kennedy looks on outside the Court of Queen's Bench after the trial of Graham James in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, on Friday, June 19, 2015. It's tempting to describe the documentary "Swift Current" as a film about former hockey player turned victims' advocate Kennedy, or about the sexual abuse he suffered as a junior hockey player.But director Joshua Rofe says that would sidestep the real issues he set out to explore - the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma and the hellish recovery survivors face. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Michael Bell

TORONTO - It's tempting to describe the documentary "Swift Current" as a film about former hockey player turned victims' advocate Sheldon Kennedy, or about the sexual abuse he suffered as a junior hockey player.

But director Joshua Rofe says that would sidestep the real issues he set out to explore — the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma and the hellish recovery survivors face.

In 1996, Kennedy went public with the abuse he suffered while playing for Swift Current Broncos coach Graham James, who would serve 3 1/2 years in federal prison after pleading guilty to sex offences against Kennedy and two others.

Rofe says "Swift Current" looks at the period when media interest in Kennedy's bombshell disclosure subsided and he was forced to deal with the repercussions of his abuse.

"Swift Current" traces how shame, rage and paranoia often overtook Kennedy, leading to several failed stints in rehab for substance abuse.

Nearly 20 years after revealing his dark secret, Kennedy says he still battles mental health issues and hopes this film presents a realistic look at the devastating impact of childhood assault. But he also wants struggling victims to know it is possible to move forward.

"A lot of the films and a lot of the stories that were about Sheldon were that these terrible things happened to Sheldon and Sheldon disclosed and then Sheldon goes into this beautiful life," says Kennedy in a recent phone interview from Calgary.

"But the reality is, that was not the case. There's a lot of hard work that has to go into getting your life back and the hopeful piece of the film is you can get your life back."

But it's not easy.

Kennedy says he expects his destructive impulses won't ever go away.

"There are still days where I have suicidal thoughts," says the former NHLer, who stays on track through regular exercise and a support group.

"But they don't consume me. But they'll consume me if I don't be honest about them."

At one point, things got so bad for a distraught Kennedy that he ended up holed up in his boiler room with a shotgun and a bag of cocaine, believing people were after him.

"That's the part of these stories that nobody sees — and that's for a guy who was famous, he was a professional athlete," says Rofe, who grew up in smalltown New Jersey playing hockey.

"The majority of people that this happens to we never hear about, we'll never hear about them and they're suffering alone, anonymously in their little corner of the world. We wanted to put a voice to that experience for those people."

It was while making another documentary — "Lost for Life," about juveniles serving life sentences without parole in the United States — that Rofe got thinking about revisiting Kennedy's story.

Rofe noted that the young killers he had met all suffered early childhood trauma, in many cases severe sexual abuse.

"I became very aware of the fact that what happens to you as a kid can potentially define the rest of your life," he says, adding that in many cases, the trauma results in destroyed neural pathways that leave survivors "with literally this broken brain."

"Forget about any sort of healthy forms of intimacy, trust, relationships, knowing how and when to recognize and place emotional responses, it's a nightmare. And it takes years of therapy, years of therapy — and very specific therapy, not talk therapy but real cognitive behavioural therapy to help rewire the brain."

Kennedy, now director of the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre in Calgary, says he'd like to see an integrated federal approach to abuse investigations that include health, social services, and educators working with police, the Crown and other justice officials.

As for his own recovery, Kennedy says his pain "doesn't define me."

"I'm in a very good place today and I want to be in an even better place next week."

"Swift Current" airs Saturday on Global.

News from © The Canadian Press, 2015