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Kamloops News

THOMPSON: The vagaries of Florida's weather include falling iguanas

February 14, 2022 - 12:00 PM

 


OPINION


There are two seasons in Florida: hurricane and falling iguana. The hurricane season starts every June 1 and ends Nov. 30. The falling iguana season is shorter, usually January and February, and occasionally into early March.

It has been a tough year for iguanas so far. You see, they fall out of trees when the weather dips below around 7 Celsius (or 45 Fahrenheit). A couple weeks ago, when much of the U.S. and Canada were under blizzard conditions, Florida was under - sorry - lizard conditions.

Indeed, frozen iguanas were falling out of trees, well…like frozen iguanas. Temperatures were below freezing as far south as Miami…home to several thousand of Florida’s total population of about 20,000 iguanas.

The problem with falling iguanas, of course, is that these lizards are up to five feet long and weigh as much as 20 pounds. Since trees are in parks…where people - lots of older, slower moving people - walk…well, you can see where this is headed. There were iguana alerts on television and radio stations throughout the chilly weekend…”Watch where you walk…look up for iguanas!”

FILE PHOTO
FILE PHOTO
Image Credit: PIXABAY/wurliburli

Every year in Florida, an unsuspecting tourist or newcomer is killed by either iguanas or coconuts falling from trees…neither of which I would want to admit to on my tombstone.

Iguanas are not native to Florida. Like human inhabitants of the state, most of the lizards arrived during the past 50 years…initially on ships coming from ports in the Caribbean and Central and South America…then from thousands of Floridians who made pets of cute little lizards they bought…that eventually ate them out of house and home.

Once out of captivity, the iguanas apparently get along quite well…it is Florida so it’s a pretty hospitable environment most times. They are herbivores - plant eaters - and specifically, they are folivores, meaning they eat the leaves of trees and vines, and some fruits and flowers.

Iguanas lay eggs once a year - anywhere from three to 20 eggs depending on what kind of iguana…the black spiny-tailed iguana, the Mexican spiny-tailed iguana, and the green iguana. Mom leaves as soon as she lays the eggs and when the babies hatch…they’re on their own…many dying before they reach a few weeks old.

I am not one of those who particularly see cold-blooded animals as good pets…but some folks do. Thankfully, I do not know any of these people. I’m sure their iguanas do all sorts of cute things…though to be honest…I never see photos of these cute antics on Facebook.

In Miami’s sprawling Dade County there are Iguana Control Officers. They are identified by their blue overalls with yellow lettering, looking a little like F.B.I. agents. They go around clearing the lizard population from busy parks and recreation areas…often near waterways that get contaminated with iguana poop…a considerable health risk to humans.

Of course, falling frozen iguanas are not the only danger to humans. Once on the ground, the iguanas look like they’ve had a few too many shots of Tequila or look seriously dead. On occasion when people come close…some who know of the freezing phenomenon and begin rubbing the lizards to warm them up…well, there could be trouble.

Imagine being startled awake by a few folks rubbing you…I don’t know but if I were a 20-pound lizard, I’d probably bite or claw these erstwhile good samaritans. It is, by the way, illegal in Florida to warm a lizard and release it back into the wild…the $500 fine might make for an interesting FaceBook post…but a bit of a vacation budget buster. I understand the law passed the Florida House and Senate by vote of acclamation.

My wife, Bonnie, a Canadian who had never been to Florida before meeting me, loves it here but still thinks Florida is a strange land: alligators, poisonous snakes, hurricanes, sink holes, falling frozen iguanas and a crazy Republican governor.

She might be right. We are having another cold snap tonight, time to check for frozen iguanas.

— Don Thompson, an American awaiting Canadian citizenship, lives in Vernon and in Florida. In a career that spans more than 40 years, Don has been a working journalist, a speechwriter and the CEO of an advertising and public relations firm. A passionate and compassionate man, he loves the written word as much as fine dinners with great wines.


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