(DON THOMPSON / iNFOnews.ca)

OPINION

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”…so goes the seasonal Andy Williams song. December brings not only the Winter Solstice, but holidays celebrated by the various faithful and not-so-faithful. Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or National Humbug Day (yeah, that’s a thing), holidays are a stressful time for too many folks.

A recent survey by the American Psychiatric Association reveals that nearly a third of us say we’re more stressed out this holiday season than last…and last year 41 percent of us reported being “more worried and anxious” during the holidays.

Now, I’m not a psychiatrist, but I have a long history of Merry Christmases and emerging in the New Year none the worse for wear. So, here are some thoughts on keeping your holiday traditions fun and memorable while not driving you, your family and others, well, crazy.

Over morning coffee or afternoon wine, check your calendar…and determine realistically what you can actually do. It’s not about what you’d like to do…or necessarily what you should do. There are 168 hours in a week and - not to scare you - there are two just weeks left in December. You need to prioritize…and choose wisely.

Those of us who celebrate Christmas always think we have it made early in December. We’ve cut a tree happily living outside…bring it inside to wither in Florida-like temperatures…decorate it…and somehow manage to untangle the string lights. Try to remember when you turn the Christmas lights on…and they work…that smile on your face

Okay, if you’re looking at your calendar and already starting to cry…you need to learn how to say, “No” rather than accepting everything that comes your way. Sure, we all have certain obligations, and lots of things sound fun, but if your schedule rivals Santa Claus’ delivery schedule on Christmas Eve…you need to take a deep breath and consider what’s really important.

That leads to the Hint One on how to get through the holidays…sleep…seven or eight hours a night. You’ll thank yourself when you start the New Year rested.

Many of us spend the holidays with family. Who knows why some families go from one topic to the next at gatherings as smoothly as a well-tuned Ferrari…while others grind gears with every shift? If you see your uncle Ed - who is the polar opposite of you on every topic, every issue, every whatever - once a year, don’t even try to fix him over Christmas dinner.

Hint Two: limit your chance for emotional flare-ups…don’t react and definitely don’t overreact. If there isn’t a real chance of changing hearts and minds…let it go…fight another day rather than risk a bunch of relatives nodding at future gatherings when an offended family member says, “Remember when (your name here) ruined Christmas?”

Hint Three: if you’re travelling more than a half-hour drive across town…or showing up for holiday dinners at more than one place…you should stop reading this and pour yourself the adult beverage of your choice…make it a double.

Those who bundle up the kids…head to airports…suffer flight delays, wait to board aircraft, wait to get luggage, wait to file a claim for lost luggage…are in my thoughts and prayers. More than 85 percent of all life’s stresses are related to travel. I made that up just now…but think about it…it sounds true. You travellers have a place in heaven because you are living in hell the next two weeks.

If eight or ten of your family members gather for a couple days…it will seem longer…and involve somewhere between ten and 20 hand-held devices designed for communication. These devices undermine person-to-person communication. If you have ever texted someone in the same room during a family get-together, please stop reading and seek professional help.

Hint Four: build a home using aluminum studs before next December…this will block cell phone and wifi signals. Then, go back to your Christmas tree and turn the lights off…and then back on…you’ll find again that smile you lost when every family member from sweet Aunt Julie to clever seven-year-old Hunter asked you for your wifi password as they came through the front door.

I know cell phones are the cameras of today…but so many of us hold on to our hand-held devices…that our hands are like the old cell phone holsters. Unless you’re the surgeon on call in your town…you can probably not check your phone for that crucial Tweet…the latest Snapchat post…or the current hour’s notification from Walmart for say…half an hour?

The other stressor is often what brings us most joy…especially during the holidays…our children. Children are different, but for most the holidays aren’t a good time to relax all the rules…about bedtime and a host of other things that keep your kids from driving you and others insane.

Hint Five: let the kids know what’s coming…it doesn’t have to be a rigid schedule…but too many unplanned days can build anxieties and restlessness in children. Instead of doing four activities that take the entire day…do one or two…quality over quantity. And if you don’t have a plan on how to handle the almost inevitable meltdown…re-visit Hint Three above: adult beverage of choice…a double.

Finally, during the next couple of weeks, take a few deep breaths…greet others with warm smiles and the best of holiday wishes. It is - after all - better to give than receive. The small but considerate things we do for family, friends and strangers define the holidays…and ultimate bring us happiness.

So, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or National Humbug Day…may yours be a great good time.

— Don Thompson, an American awaiting Canadian citizenship, lives in Vernon and in Florida. In a career that spans more than 40 years, Don has been a working journalist, a speechwriter and the CEO of an advertising and public relations firm. A passionate and compassionate man, he loves the written word as much as fine dinners with great wines.

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