YO MAMA: Mommy and Me New Year’s workout
It was New Year’s Day and my son was playing happily with some new building blocks he’d gotten for Christmas. I saw my chance to sneak in some yoga and quietly unfurled my mat on the other side of the living room.
I stretched out in downward facing dog and peered through my legs at the kid: still playing contentedly. Excellent.
Next, I stepped one leg up into a lunge, preparing for warrior one pose. I glanced over my shoulder at the kid. He was humming the ABC song and digging through the rubble for a block. Amazing. It looked promising that maybe — just maybe — I might get a full body workout in. Now that would be a Christmas miracle.
I pivoted into warrior two pose, stretched my arms wide, and took a long, deep breath in. I felt my chest muscles loosen and something popped euphorically in my back. The kid was doing so well playing independently. This was nice. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath.
“CLIMB UP MOMMY!”
The kid came barreling over and attempted to climb up my outstretched leg. In two seconds, my proud warrior pose had been transformed into mommy monkey bars.
“MOMMY PLAY!” shouted my toddler.
“Mommy is just doing some stretching. Why don’t you go play with your new blocks?”
“MOMMY UP!”
I sighed and reached down to pick him up. Getting a workout in with a toddler around was hard work.
“Boy are you ever getting heavy,” I said. “It’s a workout just lifting you up.”
He was more than 40 pounds and still loved being held. That’s like carrying around two standard 10 kilogram dumbbells all day long.
Suddenly, I recalled an ad in the local paper for ‘Mommy and Me’ yoga classes. I wondered if there might be something similar on YouTube. If I couldn’t work out alone, maybe we could workout together and I could use the kid as a weight.
Turns out, there are tons of mom and baby workout videos online. As I scrolled through the options I couldn’t help but notice that all the workout moms had perfectly curled ponytails, polished makeup and well-defined abs that they showed off in cute sports bras. They wore matching mom and baby outfits. Was this real life for these moms? Because it certainly wasn’t for me.
I picked one that was 12 minutes long, figuring that was probably all we would have the physical and mental stamina to get through.
“Hey, guys!” chirped Fit Mommy. “Let’s roll out our mats and get started!”
Fit Baby smiled and giggled. I remarked upon how she looked about 15 lb. lighter than my very solid toddler son.
The video began with Fit Mommy lying down on her back and Fit Baby sitting on her stomach for “bridge lifts.” I got into position and invited my son to climb up.
He sat on my head, made a fart sound, and then scampered off to play with his blocks. Seriously? Two minutes after asking to “climb up mommy” he had changed his mind and abandoned me. It was a classic example of toddler indecision.
Oh well. I was doing my bridge lifts and he was playing with his blocks. Wasn’t that what I wanted all along?
Fit Baby was having the time of her life bouncing up and down on her mom’s washboard abs.
Next up was squats. Each time you stood up you had to throw your baby up in the air. That got my son’s attention. He ran over and squealed with each skyward launch. I began to wonder how many viewers had thrown out their backs performing this particular stunt.
We were three minutes in. Fit Mommy was preparing to do something while her daughter rode on her back horsey style.
“MOTE,” exclaimed my toddler. “ME GET MOTE!”
He was going for the TV remote, which he was 100 per cent banned from using. In my haste to start the video, I had left it on the coffee table.
I redirected him back to the video, in which Fit Mommy was now announcing a quick water break. Inspired, my son ran to fill up his cup at the fridge, spilling water everywhere.
Minute Six. Halfway through. I was beginning to wonder if this was even worth it.
Fit Baby was now climbing onto Fit Mommy piggyback style. Fit Baby appeared to have been trained to hold on so that her mom could keep her arms free. Or perhaps she had some super-baby genetic strength. On the contrary, if I didn’t make a little seat under my son’s butt with my hands he would just fall right off.
We didn’t look as finessed as the duo on the screen, but my son hopped on up and held on while I leaped back and forth like a beginner ice skater.
“Ten, nine, eight,” I counted the reps down as we went.
“Three, five, ten,” a little voice called into my ear.
The kid was counting! Maybe this group workout could be kind of educational as well as aerobic.
When the video came to a close, my son surprised me by asking for “more!”
So we did one more where Fit Mommy and Fit Baby did a bunch of yoga poses named after animals. Some of the time my son refused to participate and I was left hopping around ridiculously like a frog all by myself. But he was watching and he was coming around. I could see that if I managed my expectations accordingly, mommy and me workouts could be a fun way to role model the importance of exercise and stretching. It would get us moving and giggling and inevitably play-wrestling and even if I didn’t get a full-body workout, I’d at least get a partial one and some koala bear hugs too.
That evening when my husband came in and asked about our day I told him about the workout. Our son proudly demonstrated the butterfly pose with his feet pressed together and knees flapping, followed by his new favourite “bee pose” in which a person’s hands are clasped behind their back in a stinger formation. We chased each other around the living room with our “stingers” and fell down laughing.
Then I headed out for a run.
— Charlotte Helston gave birth to her first child, a rambunctious little boy, in the spring of 2021. Yo Mama is her weekly reflection on the wild, exhilarating, beautiful, messy, awe-inspiring journey of parenthood.
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