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MANN: Don't go to bed angry in case tomorrow never comes

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September 28, 2017 - 12:00 PM

OPINION


Last week a prominent figure in my community passed on. He was well known, active with many local causes and his office was less than 100 steps to my office…and yet I only knew the basics about him — relationship status, number of children and that he was always well dressed for work.

When I heard of his death I was shocked. Like many, I couldn’t believe someone so young (late 30s) was taken, and I was immediately saddened thinking of his two young sons growing up without their father, and then his wife, left to pick up the pieces and soldier on.

I wish I had gotten to know him better.

The whole experience made me think about relationships with our spouses/partners and how in an instant that connection can fracture. One minute you are excitedly putting together your five-year, 10-year, 20-year plan, and next you are wishing you had spent two minutes more really listening — not glazing over, waiting for your turn to speak type of listening.

I don’t know what the dating scene is like these days. I’ve never had to swipe right and I’ve learned my lessons about the greener grass. I’ve been in a loving and monogamous relationship for quite some time now, and I’m happy. I know where I stand, what my role is, and I’m not afraid to ask questions or make comments that may or may not be taken well.

But relationships are not easy — that’s a fact. Unless you are living in some alternate Brady Bunch world and even that family had it’s issues.

You aren’t always going to get what you want. There is fighting and sadness and hate and regret and then you add children into the mix and you have opinions you didn’t even know you had…you have to work it out and compromise. It’s not just about you anymore.

In the heat of a particularity bad argument you’ll no doubt question why you ever got together in the first place.

The good news is, if you are lucky there is also A LOT of laughing — sometimes it’s AT your expense, but those moments make the best stories later on. You learn your own quirks from this annoying person who keeps reminding you about these so-called quirks (joking), and best of all, you are with someone who genuinely wants to hang out with you.

And before you know it, days turn into months, turn into years and you are still laughing.

Last week, one couple’s happiness was ripped away, but perhaps what they shared in those few years before his untimely death was more than what many couples experience in 50 — I can only hope as much.

In light of recent events, I know it is so important to appreciate that love and partnership with your significant other today — not tomorrow. Never go to bed angry or assume what was meant — ask! We are not even guaranteed today, much less tomorrow.

News from © InfoTel News Ltd, 2017
InfoTel News Ltd

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