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STAFF PICKS: I hope Santa has a bathing suit

Mall Santa didn't know what he was getting himself into last year at Aberdeen Mall.
December 26, 2013 - 1:00 PM

JOURNALIST JESSICA WALLACE

This year, I'm skipping Christmas by skipping the country — and I won't miss it one bit.

I hate the cold, HATE it. It's part of the reason my family and I decided to pull the plug on it altogether this year — a la 'Christmas with the Kranks.' We're saving the money we'd spend during the holidays on a warm vacation and much needed getaway.

I've never been a winter-type gal — a topic of 'haha' with my prairie-blooded boyfriend and his take on 'B.C. winters' — so I couldn't be more excited to get away from the white stuff. It's not just skipping the weather though, we're skipping most of the whole Christmas thing to head south, surrendering my Holiday Nog for slushy drinks. Nahhhh — I won't miss it.

But I do have a lot of extended family in Kamloops and we're full of holiday traditions. If I were to indulge in the holidays this year, it would look a little something like this:

Ugly sweaters: It's more than the party, it's an annual photo with mall Santa. Last year 20 of us cuddled up with the big guy.

Movies: Bad Santa, Jingle All the Way and Frosty the Snowman, yes — the cartoon version. And if I see long furry green fingers on any television in December, I'm taking control of the channel changer — because even as a 25-year-old crime reporter, I am absolutely terrified of the Grinch.

Games: My mom has made it her job to buy a new family game every Christmas. When I say game, I don't mean a classic family-appropriate board game like Monopoly or Scrabble. Oh, no — she can't help but be tempted into a flashy new game that leaves us tangled in directions mid-wine or caught in awkward moments. As a result, my parents have a closet full of games like 'Trivial Pursuit: SNL Saturday Night Live DVD Edition', played exactly once.

Christmas Eve: In the spirit of Santa Claus, we reserve Christmas Eve to get fat and jolly with friends. Every year I can remember, we've prolongued the eating and drinking experience as long as possible with a fondue. It's basically training for the rest of the holiday binge-fest that follows.

Christmas day: Comfy pants are just a must at this point.

New Years day: Every year, my extended family meets with bladed feet at a frozen lake. We conveniently steal someone's already made rink and light a questionably safe fire right on the ice. (Hasn't failed us yet...)  Some of us skate, others (me) run around in our boots trying to hit the puck more times than we fall down. We pass hot drinks around the fire and continue holday binge eating with hot dogs, chips and baked goodies. When we get back to town — you guessed it, more food: my Baba has a feast waiting and a fire blazing for defrosting noses and toes.

Hmm...

Oh, no.

I've made a terrible, horrible, awful mistake. WHO SKIPS CHRISTMAS?!!?!!!!

I hope Santa has a bathing suit.

News from © InfoTel News Ltd, 2013
InfoTel News Ltd

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